Does a high imbalance score mean my partner is abusive?▾
Not necessarily, but it does mean the relationship pattern is inequitable in ways that can harm your wellbeing. Imbalances can be situational, cultural, or the result of unexamined habits. However, if the imbalance involves systemic restriction of your freedom, financial control, or emotional coercion, it crosses into toxic or potentially abusive territory. This assessment is a screener to help you see the pattern clearly; if you feel unsafe, trust your instincts and seek professional support.
Can power imbalances in a relationship be fixed?▾
Yes, if both people are willing to see the pattern and take accountability. Restoring balance requires the person with more power to actively step back, listen, and change their behavior, while the person with less power must be supported in taking up more space. If the dominant partner refuses to acknowledge the imbalance or uses emotional leverage to avoid the conversation, the pattern is highly unlikely to change.
Why do you measure financial control separately from decision making?▾
Financial control is a highly specific and potent form of relational power. A couple might make daily choices (like where to eat or vacation) collaboratively, giving the illusion of equity, while one person unilaterally controls the bank accounts, investments, or debt. Isolating financial control helps identify structural imbalances that might be masked by surface-level agreement on smaller decisions.
How does Emotional Leverage work in practice?▾
Emotional leverage is the use of feelings—like anger, guilt, withdrawal, or intense sadness—to influence an outcome. For example, if you set a boundary and the other person gives you the silent treatment for days, or has such a volatile reaction that you back down just to keep the peace, they are using emotional leverage to maintain power. It effectively makes it too exhausting or painful for you to advocate for yourself.
What should I do if my Autonomy Respect score is very low?▾
A low Autonomy Respect score means your right to exist as an independent person—with your own friends, hobbies, time, and privacy—is being compromised. This is a significant red flag for relationship health. A healthy relationship supports the individuality of both people. If asserting your need for autonomy causes conflict or retaliation, it may be helpful to discuss these dynamics with a licensed therapist.
Is it normal for one person to have more power in certain areas?▾
Yes, domain-specific leadership is common and healthy (e.g., one person manages the investments because they are an accountant). This becomes an issue when domain leadership turns into unilateral control that marginalizes the other person, or when the overall aggregate of power leaves one partner feeling voiceless and dependent across the relationship as a whole.
How do I bring up these results with the other person?▾
If you feel safe doing so, you can frame the conversation around your own experience rather than accusing them: "I’ve realized I feel really anxious when we make financial decisions, and I want us to find a more balanced way to handle it." If you fear their reaction—if you anticipate rage, punishment, or intense blame-shifting (low Accountability)—it may be safer to process the results with a counselor first.